


The Heart Remembers

by intothedarkness



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Bellarke Fic Week, Canon Universe, F/M, Memory Loss, One Shot, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 01:43:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19074931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intothedarkness/pseuds/intothedarkness
Summary: They finally brought Clarke's consciousness but in doing so, she lost every single memory she had.- I saw in twitter that (@blueshirtbells2) said that she wanted a fic where Clarke lost her memories of everyone but Bellamy when she came back.





	The Heart Remembers

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in a rush and I really hope everything is alright.  
> Enjoy!

**THE HEART REMEMBERS**

\- BELLAMY & CLARKE -

 

Bellamy has been staring at the same wall, in the same position, for hours now. His hands are shaking, his feet are moving, his body is sweating, but his eyes can’t move from the closed doors. He feels his head pounding, his heart clenching and his mind being filled with regret, lost, desperation and deep hatred for himself.

“You should go to your room to rest for a little bit, Bellamy.” Says Emori while she sits besides him, placing a comforting hand in his shoulder.

“I can’t.”

Emori’s heart hurts seeing Bellamy like that, hearing him like that. She can’t help but think about the first two years in space, when Bellamy was completely destroyed and being eaten alive by his own guilt of leaving her behind. Of leaving _Clarke_ behind to die. Emori saw how difficult it was for him to accept as best as he could her death; that’s how she knows he won’t be able to move on if Abby isn’t able to save her.

“Clarke would have wanted you to be alright, she would have wanted you to rest and not to stay here for hours waiting for her.”

Bellamy brushed off Emori’s hand and stood up quickly, pointing a finger towards her while saying, “But she isn’t here, isn’t she? We don’t even know if she’s even alive! We know nothing! We don’t know if Abby- We don’t know, we don’t…” Bellamy felt his eyes dropping a few couple of tears while his voice broke with every word he said.

Clarke couldn’t be dead.

_She couldn’t._

She can’t leave him again. He wasn’t going to allow that.

“Emori is right, you should go and rest. Come, I’ll go with you.” Echo grabbed his hand and started pulling him towards their room.

_Echo._

He had forgotten about her.

When did she came back?

He was going to let her know he was staying but saw her face and he knew she wasn’t going to take a no for an answer.

Bellamy looked once again to the doors and there was a small piece of hope that made him believe she was going to walk out of the room straight to his arms. He waited for a couple of seconds, but she didn’t come out.

 

* * *

 

Echo made sure no one from Sanctum saw them so they wouldn’t get suspicious of what they were doing. Bellamy tried helping her, but his mind was elsewhere. His mind and thoughts were always lingering around the same person, and now, with the possibility of losing her once again, more than ever.

When they reached their room, Bellamy took off his jacket and sat down in the bed. He rested his elbows in his knees and covered his face with his hands. He just wanted to scream. He needed a release.

His mind wandered to her once again. It was always there, in every moment of the day. He was always worrying about her, always caring about her, he doesn’t think that will ever stop.

What will he do if he loses her again? _No, Bellamy._ Don’t go there, she will be fine. She’ll come back. She _can’t_ die.

“Are you even listening to me, Bellamy?” Echo crunched down beside him and grabbed his hands. “I’ve been talking to you just to realize you weren’t paying attention”, she exclaimed.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that right now I don’t feel like talking. I don’t feel like doing anything. I feel useless, you know?” He looked at her in the eyes.

“Is this about Clarke?”

“Of course this is about her, Echo!” He stood up, “She’s lying there and I don’t know if she’s even alive. I don’t know if she’ll ever come back!”

She was still on the floor, looking up to him. She just stayed there, staring at him, analyzing him with that emotionless expression. “We need to talk about that. If we can’t reach Clarke in Josephine’s mind, then we’ll have to kill her.”

_Then we’ll have to kill her…_

Does words kept repeating in his head.

_No. No. No. No. No. No._

His head started shaking, he didn’t even realize he was murmuring “no” at a fast rate.

“How can you say that Echo? Huh. How can you even contemplate killing _Clarke_? Are you _out of your mind?_ ” He couldn’t even recognize his own voice, with the amount of venom it carried. How could she think that? How could she tell him that? Making that an option?

“Bellamy, use your head. If Abby can’t reach Clarke’s mind, then our only option is killing her. It wouldn’t even be Clarke, because she’s not there. We would be killing Josephine, before she puts us in danger.” She tried to reason with him.

Bellamy could feel his heart beating fast, his knuckles turning white with the pressure he was putting in them, he could hear his breath coming out rapidly and shortly. _He needed to scream._

Before he could respond to Echo, Miller burst into the room and shouted, “She woke up Bellamy. Clarke woke up, but she doesn’t remember anyone.”

 

* * *

 

After Bellamy left, Murphy, Emori, Raven, Miller and Gaia stood outside waiting for anything to happen.

“Do you think she’ll come back?” Emori asked.

“I’m not sure. Her conscious isn’t in the flame and I don’t know how Abby will be able to bring her back when her memories were wiped out.” Said Gaia, while standing perfectly still besides the door.

“I don’t know about the stupid flame but Josephine said that some of the memories were kept inside the brain, but no host has ever been able to reach out for it.” When he finished talking, Murphy looked beside him to Raven, and he knew she was blaming herself for how things ended with Clarke. “Hey, you don’t have to blame yourself… We were all asses to her.”

“I know she was wrong when she chose to work with McCreary, I also know she knew that too. But I can’t help this feeling of being betrayed, I want to forgive her, but I don’t know why I can’t…”

Gaia turned around to face us, “Yes, Clarke was wrong in betraying you, but she was doing it to protect the only family, the only piece of sanity she has had for the past 6 years of her life. She did that for her child. If you all were in that position, I’m sure you all would have made the same mistake.” She gave us another one of her looks and went back to her previous position.

Raven knew that what Gaia said was right. Raven would have had sacrificed everyone she could to protect Finn once upon a time. And she knew that when Clarke made that decision, it was very difficult for her to make. So why did she kept blaming her for everything? If Clarke lived- After Clarke wakes up, Raven promised herself she was going to sit down with her and tell her everything she feels. She was going to hug her, forgive her and ask tell her how sorry she was. That she understood.

In that moment, Abby opened the doors and came out with a distraught expression. “Clarke woke up. But she doesn’t remember anyone.”

 

* * *

 

Emptiness.

Confusion.

Dizziness.

Disorientated.

That’s everything she was feeling. Her limbs were sore, her eyelids were heavy and she could feel soft murmurs beside her. She opened her eyes slowly and glanced around the room. Where was she? Who was that woman staring at her intently with tears in her eyes?

“Clarke, baby, are you alright? Tell me what you remember”, she took her hand and with the other she placed it against her forehead.

She couldn’t help but flinch back.

Who was this woman? And how did she know her?

“Who are you? Where are we and what are you doing with me?” Clarke looked at the woman with confusion in her eyes. She needed answers, now.

The woman took a step backwards and asked, “What’s your name?”

“Clarke. Now answer me what am I doing here?” She was starting to get irritated and scared. She needed to leave this place, it made her feel uneasy.

“Jackson, stay with her.” She gave her one more glance and then left the room. A couple of seconds after, three girls and one boy entered the room, they all were looking at her with different emotions, _pain, regret, worry, curiousness._

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on now?” Clarke tried standing up but then realized that her wrists and ankles were tied down to the bed. She started moving around trying to pull them off. “LET ME GO! What do you want from me?! LET ME GO!” She could feel her entire body shacking with fear. She needed to get out of that place.

She could see the people looking at her intently, not knowing what to do. It was hard for her to see because there were tears streaming down her face. “Please just let me go, I’ll do anything, just… _please_.”

 

Bellamy was running.

As soon as those words got out of Miller’s mouth, he didn’t care about anything. He just cared about her, of seeing her.

His mind was a mess, his emotions worse. Clarke couldn’t have lost her memories, right? She couldn’t have forgotten about everything they’ve been through, about her friends, her parents, Madi… about him.

Every interaction, every touch, every smile, every laugh, every tear, every problem, every hug… it all came like a fast movie into his head.

_Brave princess_

_If you need forgiveness, fine I’ll give that to you, you’re forgiven_

_Together_

_If you need forgiveness, I’ll give it to you, you’re forgiven_

_Can’t lose Clarke_

_I need you_

_You left me_

_I was mad at you for leaving, I don’t want to feel like that anymore_

_She’ll see how special you are_

_You keep her centered_

_I didn’t like you at first, that’s no secret…_

_Bellamy… hurry_

_Clarke’s alive?_

_She is_

_And now you’re home_

_Pleading for the life of a traitor… who you_ love

_She’ll never forgive you_

_The heart and the head_

_Together_

_Do you have any idea how much she cared about you?_

_She called you on the radio every day for six years…_

_It kept me same_

_You’re my family too_

_I wrote leaving you behind_

_You’re not Clarke_

Before he could stop them, Bellamy felt the tears falling down, every tear full of desperation and agony. Of regret and love. Of hope and wishes. She couldn’t not remember _him_. _No._

Bellamy didn’t care if anyone sees him, he just ran faster until he got to the closed doors and paused. He hesitated. What if he went inside and she didn’t remember him? What if he looked at her in the eyes and instead of recognition, he saw nothing in those blue eyes? He wouldn’t -couldn’t- survive that. He couldn’t bear losing her again.

He took a deep breath and opened the doors.

What he saw inside, broke his heart in a million pieces.

She was in the middle of the room, tied to the bed, tears in her beautiful eyes, she was begging all of our friends to let he go, to tell her what was happening. She was screaming and asking for their names. She didn’t know. He took a step forwards and she looked at him, their eyes connected.

She felt the sudden urge to look up; at first, she couldn’t see him very well. He stepped inside alongside a girl and a boy. When the light illuminated his face and when their eyes locked, she knew, it was _him._

_Bellamy Blake_

_____

“Bellamy”, she whispered.

When he heard his name fall out of her lips, when he saw a glint of hope and relieve in her eyes, when he saw her face softened at the sight of him, he knew he wasn’t going to let her go. Ever.

“Clarke?”, he asked. He needed to be sure it was actually her, not Josephine nor someone else.

She smiled.

It was one of those smiles that when you look at it, everything else disappears. That when you look at it, you feel like everything else in the world was going to be alright. That when you look at it, you can’t help but smile. So, I smiled.

He could feel the looks of their friends on them, their shocked expressions, but he couldn’t -wouldn’t- take his eyes off of Clarke. He needed to walk to her and embrace her with all the love he has for her. He needed for her to know how much he cared for her, how he was never going to let anything happen to her.

“Clarke, do you remember now?”, he saw Abby getting closer to Clarke with curious and hopeful eyes. But then changed instantly when Clarke started fighting the strains again.

“I don’t know what you all want to do with me but I won’t let you touch me again.” She looked at everyone with challenging eyes. “The least you all could do is leave me with Bellamy.”

Once again, everyone’s attention was directed at him, but he didn’t care. “Leave”, he ordered, with his eyes still fixed on _her_.

Everyone waited a few seconds and then they left the room, everyone but one. Bellamy looked at her when she grabbed his arm. “Yes?”

“I don’t think it’s safe for you to stay here. What if it’s Josephine pretending to be Clarke just to take you?” He appreciated the concern, yes, but he knew it in his heart that this was _his Clarke._

To prove it, he turned to Clarke and said, “I am become Death, destroyer of worlds.”

With a smile she said, “Oppenheimer.”

She left.

_____

They continued looking at each other while Bellamy got her out of the strains. He helped her sit up and all he could think of was when he saw her for the first time after six years, when he helped her sit up after exchanging 283 lives for hers. When he held her in his arms after thinking he wouldn’t be able to do that again.

“Bellamy…”

“Yes?”

“What is going on?” She looked at him with confusion all over her face.

How could she remember him, but not remember anyone else?

“You remember me.”

She smiled.

“Of course, I do, why wouldn’t I? I just feel very disorientated, I don’t know where I am, what am I doing here or who these people are. But you know them, don’t you?”

“Clarke… I need to talk to you about it.” He sat down next to her and grabbed her hand. “These people, you know them. You know all of them. You are here because they were trying, your mom was trying to gain your memory back. And she succeed… you remember me.”

He could see the wheels running inside her mind, he could also see the confusion in her face and she didn’t like it. She hated not knowing. “Why can I remember you… but I can’t remember the others?”

“I don’t know.”

“Am I going to get them back? My memories?”

“I don’t know” She looked at him sadly. “What I know, is that you are here. That you are back. I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t, if you didn’t remember me. When Miller told me you didn’t remember anyone, my heart stopped. I lost you once and I don’t think I’m going to be able to go through that again. You’re too important to me.”

She turned to look at him and grabbed his face between her hands, she pulled him down to her and pressed their foreheads together. Then she whispered, “Everything is foggy in my head right now. My whole life is a blur, everything feels like it’s black and white. When I woke up and I couldn’t see anything, when I couldn’t think of anything or anyone… I panicked. The only thing almost clear was a name: Clarke Griffin. So, when I saw everyone and they seemed to know me, I lost it. I felt so confused, so angry, so sad, so frustrated I didn’t know what to do.”

She held me tighter.

“But then you walked in, you walked in and I _finally_ saw some color between all the darkness. I saw _you._ It’s like you unlocked a huge part of myself, and then I remembered… I remembered you. Everything was still foggy and dark, but then there you stood, bright, clear, steady and with color. It felt like you were the light that’s supposed to guide me.”

Bellamy heard every single word and he felt like he was hallucinating. He repeated each sentence one time, two times, three times, until it was imprinted in his heart.

“You are the light in the darkness of the world, Clarke Griffin.” He couldn’t help but give her his biggest smile. He tucked some free hairs behind her ear, his eyes travelled through every single part of her face. Her ocean blue eyes starred at him in a way no one has ever looked at him before, like he was the light, like he was special. He kissed her forehead and hugged her deeply and strongly between his arms.

He wasn’t planning on letting her go any time soon.

There could be another war, another conflict, but nothing could change how he felt right now. It was his Clarke. He got her back.

“Ai hou.”

She hugged him deeply.

“Ai hou.”


End file.
